Supporting Communication in Autistic Children: A Guide for parents
Every child communicates in their own way. For autistic children, communication may develop differently—but that doesn’t mean it’s less valuable, important, or meaningful. As parents, you play a vital role in supporting your child’s communication journey by honoring their unique style and creating opportunities for connection.
This guide shares everyday strategies you can use at home, rooted in evidence-based and child-centered practices.
1. Embrace All Forms of Communication
Communication is more than spoken words. Gestures, facial expressions, sounds, signs, pointing, body movements, and Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) are all valid ways to express needs, wants, and feelings. Even dysregulation can be communication, as your child is communicating that they are upset and in need of something.
💡 Research shows that introducing AAC early supports overall language development and does not prevent children from developing speech—it often enhances it (Romski & Sevcik, 2005; Brady et al., 2016).
Try: Respond to your child’s communication attempts, whether it’s a look, a sound, or a sign, with the same respect you’d give to spoken words.
2. Follow Your Child’s Lead
Children are more motivated to communicate when activities align with their interests. Joining your child in play helps them feel seen and understood, while giving you natural opportunities to model language.
💡 Naturalistic, play-based interventions that follow a child’s interests have been shown to increase both engagement and communication (Schreibman et al., 2015).
Try: If your child loves pushing toy cars, join them by pushing a car toward them and see if they’ll push it back!
3. Talk Less So Your Child Can Say More
Sometimes adults fill silences with lots of words—making it harder for children to jump in. Using fewer, simpler words creates space for your child to communicate spontaneously.
💡 Research on responsive communication shows that parents who balance modeling with silence give children more opportunities to initiate language (Siller & Sigman, 2008).
Try: Instead of asking three questions in a row (“What’s that? What color is it? Where is it going?”), pause and simply say, “Pink…”—then wait for the child to fill in the rest (e.g., “Ice cream!”).
4. Build in Wait Time
Many autistic children need extra processing time before responding. Pausing after you ask a question or make a comment shows your child you expect and value their response.
💡 Studies have found that increasing wait time leads to more communication attempts and longer responses from children (Keen, 2003).
Try: Count silently to five after asking a question before repeating or prompting again.
5. Model instead of correcting
When children are learning to communicate, mistakes and approximations are part of the process. Instead of correcting, provide clear, positive models.
💡 Research emphasizes that modeling, rather than frequently correcting a child’s communication, encourages more spontaneous communication (Girolametto & Weitzman, 2006).
Try: If your child says “apple” when pointing at a banana, you could respond with, “Yum, banana!”
6. Expand, Expand, Expand
Instead of asking your child to repeat or say something a “better way,” expand on what they give you. This adds richness to their communication without pressure.
💡 Expansions and recasts—repeating a child’s words and adding more—are shown to support language growth (Nelson et al., 1996).
Try: If your child says “dog,” you could say, “Brown dog!”
7. Encourage Gestures & Shared Attention
Communication often begins with shared attention: looking at something together, pointing, or smiling at the same event. Encouraging and celebrating these small moments builds the foundation for more complex communication.
💡 Joint attention skills are strongly linked to later language development in autistic children (Mundy et al., 2007).
Try: Point out interesting things in the environment (“Look! An airplane!”) and celebrate when your child shares attention with you.
8. Create Predictable Routines
Predictability gives children a sense of security and makes communication opportunities easier to anticipate. Using consistent language during everyday activities helps children connect words with actions and routines.
💡 Routine-based communication supports early language learning and reduces stress (Siller & Sigman, 2008).
Try: Use a consistent phrase, like “all done!” when finishing meals or playtime. Over time, your child may begin using the phrase, too.
9. Support Communication Through Play
Play is a powerful way to build communication and social skills. Research in the area of play emphasizes following the child’s lead, creating play routines, and gradually expanding them.
💡 Research shows that targeted play-based approaches like JASPER increase joint attention, symbolic play, and spontaneous communication in autistic children (Kasari et al., 2010).
Try: If your child enjoys stacking blocks, join them by stacking your own. Once the play feels fun and connected, gently add a new element—like pretending the blocks are a “garage” for toy cars.
10. Work Through Frustration Together
Frustration is a natural part of learning to communicate, especially when your child knows what they want to say but can’t yet express it clearly. Supporting regulation during these moments helps your child feel safe and keeps communication flowing.
💡 Co-regulation (when adults help children manage big feelings) supports both emotional and communication development (Prizant et al., 2006).
Try:
Acknowledge feelings: “You’re mad! You need help.”
Offer tools: Model a gesture, show a picture card, or use AAC to help them get their message across.
Stay calm: Your steady presence shows your child that communication is still possible, even in hard moments
Final Thoughts
Supporting your child’s communication doesn’t mean pushing for more words or “normal” speech. It means honoring their unique voice, whether through gestures, AAC, play, or spoken words, and creating space for joyful connection. By following your child’s lead, modeling language, and celebrating all forms of connection, you’re giving them the strongest foundation for lifelong communication.
References
Brady, N. C., Bruce, S., Goldman, A., Erickson, K., Mineo, B., Ogletree, B. T., … Paul, D. (2016). Communication services and supports for individuals with severe disabilities: Guidance for assessment and intervention. American Journal on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities, 121(2), 121–138. https://doi.org/10.1352/1944-7558-121.2.121
Girolametto, L., & Weitzman, E. (2006). It takes two to talk—The Hanen Program® for Parents: Early language intervention through caregiver training. In R. McCauley & M. Fey (Eds.), Treatment of Language Disorders in Children (pp. 77–103). Brookes.
Kasari, C., Paparella, T., Freeman, S., & Jahromi, L. (2010). Language outcome in autism: Randomized comparison of joint attention and play interventions. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(1), 125–137. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.76.1.125
Keen, D. (2003). The effects of teaching wait‐time on the verbal responses of children with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 33(6), 567–581. https://doi.org/10.1023/B:JADD.0000005993.71005.fa
Mundy, P., Block, J., Delgado, C., Pomares, Y., Van Hecke, A. V., & Parlade, M. V. (2007). Individual differences and the development of joint attention in infancy. Child Development, 78(3), 938–954. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2007.01042.x
Nelson, K. E., Camarata, S. M., Welsh, J., Butkovsky, L., & Camarata, M. (1996). Effects of imitative and conversational recasting treatment on the acquisition of grammar in children with specific language impairment and younger language‐normal children. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 39(4), 850–859. https://doi.org/10.1044/jshr.3904.850
Prizant, B. M., Wetherby, A. M., Rubin, E., Laurent, A. C., & Rydell, P. J. (2006). The SCERTS Model: A comprehensive educational approach for children with autism spectrum disorders. Brookes.
Romski, M., & Sevcik, R. A. (2005). Augmentative communication and early intervention: Myths and realities. Infants & Young Children, 18(3), 174–185. https://doi.org/10.1097/00001163-200507000-00002
Schreibman, L., Dawson, G., Stahmer, A. C., Landa, R., Rogers, S. J., McGee, G. G., … Halladay, A. (2015). Naturalistic developmental behavioral interventions: Empirically validated treatments for autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 45(8), 2411–2428. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2407-8
Siller, M., & Sigman, M. (2008). Modeling longitudinal change in the language abilities of children with autism: Parent behaviors and child characteristics as predictors of change. Developmental Psychology, 44(6), 1691–1704. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0013771